Wednesday, May 17, 2006

If Lt. Dan owned a ball team, this would be the one!

Another selection from the Out There column.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame or I'll Sue
Wednesday, May 17, 2006

ALTOONA, Pa. — If you’re a baseball fan, you’ve likely been to a game on “Dollar Hot Dog Night” or maybe “Get Some Kind of Bag or Hat or Something Not Too Terribly Exciting Free at the Door Night.”
But if you happen to be a fan of the Altoona Curve, you can take yourself out to the ballgame on a themed evening that’s a wee bit more … creative.
Inspired by MLB's Los Angeles Angels fan who sued the team because he didn’t get a tote bag at the club’s Mother’s Day promotion last year, the Curve are inviting fans to attend “Salute to Frivolous Lawsuit Night” on July 2 at Blair County Ballpark, according to the team’s Web site,
So what exactly does “Frivolous Lawsuit Night” entail? For starters, a whole bunch of lawsuit-friendly giveaways.
In case they, too, are a little miffed about being denied any Mother’s Day freebies, the first 137 guys at the park will be given a pink tote bag.
The first 137 thirsty but thermally unaware women in attendance will get burn-proof lukewarm coffee.
And the kiddos have a treat coming their way too. The first 137 inexplicably hungry children will get a beach ball, complete with a warning not to ingest it.
But the facetious fun doesn’t stop there.
In another nod to the Mother’s Day suit, Angels merchandise will be dished out throughout the game, and some of history’s finest frivolous lawsuits will be honored.
“We realize that these giveaways as part of our Salute to Frivolous Lawsuit Night are fairly stupid and serve no real purpose,” said Curve General Manager Todd Parnell. “But if our fans don’t like them, then they can sue us!”
Practicing corporate and sports attorney Chuck Greenberg, who also serves as the president and managing partner of the club, declined to comment on the festivities in fear his remarks could lead to — you guessed it — a frivolous lawsuit.
And it seems this isn’t the teams first foray into the realm of the outlandish theme night — they were honored by Minor League Baseball as the winner of the 2004 Larry MacPhail Award for promotional excellence.

Genius. Pure genius.


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